Stop Waiting for Free Time: Designing Your Calendar for Connection
Between running a business, managing a household, and raising a busy three-year-old and a sweet seven-month-old, my days are scheduled down to the minute. Aaron and I automate our bills, we strictly calendar our business meetings, and we meticulously plan our family routines.
But when it comes to our friendships? So often, we just leave them to chance.
We send the texts that say, “We should totally get together soon!” and then let the group chat fade into silence while we wait for this magical, elusive concept called “free time” to appear. Let me share a hard truth I’ve learned in this season of motherhood: “busyness” is often just a lack of design. If you want to see your girls, you have to stop waiting for free time. You have to design the time.
Welcome to Volume 1 of my series on Lifestyle Design. Today, we are talking about how to plan your calendar for community and connection.
Finding Peace in the Chaos
Let’s be real: running a home and running a life is not easy. When you are juggling babies and business goals, chaos is just part of the territory. But making the time to intentionally schedule out your calendar is the ultimate secret to finding peace within that chaos.
Here is the rhythm that saves my sanity: we schedule out our calendar once a month, and we check in on it once a week.
When you have this bird’s-eye view, you create breathing room. When unexpected things inevitably come up, you are able to fit them in so much easier because you know your baseline. Instead of waking up on a weekend wondering what to do, you wake up with intentional things to do. Most importantly, finding time for yourself to recharge, to breathe, and to see your friends is infinitely easier when you actually know what your calendar looks like.
Fellowship Fuels the Soul
We were not meant to do life alone. Whether you are navigating the early days of postpartum, building a brand from the ground up, or just trying to survive a Tuesday, community is the anchor that keeps us grounded. Planning a girls’ night or a coffee date isn’t just about coordinating logistics; it is an act of stewarding your community. It is actively saying, “You are important enough to earn a permanent spot on my calendar.”
The 3-Step Scheduling Rule
If you are tired of the endless back-and-forth texts that go nowhere, it’s time to step up and be the leader of your friend group. Here is my foolproof, 3-step scheduling rule to actually get dates on the calendar.
1. Check the Family Cal First
Before I even open a text thread with my friends, I look at our shared family calendar. I need to make sure that Aaron is completely available to hold down the fort with our son and daughter. (Shoutout to Aaron for always being the MVP!) Knowing the kids are covered allows me to leave the house with zero mom-guilt and be 100% present with my friends.
2. Offer 2 Dates, Not “Whenever”
Never end a text with “Let me know when you’re free!” That puts the mental load on the other person, and usually results in decision paralysis. Instead, be specific and take the lead. Look at your calendar and ask: “I would love to see you! Does the 13th for coffee or the 15th for dinner work better for you?” Giving two distinct options forces a concrete answer and completely bypasses the scheduling dance.
3. Book It & Protect It
Once that date is set, you have to treat it with the same level of respect you would give a high-paying client meeting. Put it in the calendar in ink. When the day arrives, you might feel tired from a long week of parenting, but do not cancel unless it is an absolute, unavoidable emergency. Push through the exhaustion, get out the door, and I promise you will come back home with your cup completely overflowing.
Lifestyle Design isn’t just about productivity; it is about intentionally curating a life rich with the people you love.
Your Turn: Who do you need to see this month? Text them right now using the 2-date rule, and let me know on IG @theams_haveit who you’re getting on the calendar!
